Article Summary. Part 1. Know when the time is right. Any married couple can renew their vows any time they want, but having a reason for doing so can make the occasion feel more special.
Maybe you got married in a courthouse and never got to have your loved ones there to witness your big day. Maybe you couldn't afford a big wedding the first time around but are ready to throw a huge gala now.
Maybe you or your partner have overcome a major life difficulty, such as an illness or a career crisis, and you want to show that your love is stronger than ever. Maybe you've patched things up after one of you strayed and want to reaffirm your commitment to each other. There's no cookie-cutter way to make this decision. Decide whether you want a large celebration or an intimate affair.
Determine if you want a big ceremony with plenty of fanfare or an intimate gathering of just close family and friends. Maybe you want to throw a huge party to see many people you haven't seen in years, or just because you've been married for 25 years and feel like celebrating your love. But maybe you want to do something small and intimate, and to have the people who have meant the most to you close at hand. You and your spouse should be in agreement about what kind of a celebration you want before you begin.
Stick to a budget. A vow renewal ceremony can cost just as much as the first wedding, if not more, depending on its extravagance. Much of the cost will be from the food and alcohol served at the reception, if you choose to have one, so keep this in mind when planning. You should not only decide how much you'll spend, but what kind of an affair it'll be. You can invite a ton of guests to a big backyard gathering, or to an elegant evening in a reception hall.
You can splurge on fancy cocktails and nice attire, or you can keep things a bit more casual. You can also fall somewhere in between. Select a venue. Pick a place that's large enough to hold your guests and which gives off the impression you are going for.
If you plan on a large celebration, then you should plan for it at least a year to six months in advance, so that everyone you want to be there has time to make travel arrangements and does not make conflicting plans. This will also give you more freedom to select a venue, as many venues get booked fast. If you only plan on having a smaller celebration, however, you might be able to book your venue less than six months in advance.
An earlier reservation will always be your safest bet, though. Don't limit yourself to traditional venues if you're not a traditional couple. In addition to churches and reception halls, you can also renew your vows on a beach or on a mountain top -- anywhere that is special for you and your spouse. Pick out a location that means something to the both of you and try to go from there.
When picking your venue, also keep your guests in mind. If an exotic destination is more important to you than the number of guests showing up, it might work out--but generally, if you want plenty of people to come, you'll need to choose a venue a bit closer to home. Choose your attire. You could also opt for a party dress in one of your wedding colors.
Since this is not your first wedding, etiquette dictates that you don't have to wear white if you don't want to--some even believe that you should avoid a pure white gown altogether.
The veil is also optional. You can even consider wearing your original wedding dress, if it still fits. Since many men rent their tuxedos instead of buying them, the groom probably won't have the option of wearing his original ensemble. He could rent a similar style of tuxedo if you're planning a ceremony similar to your first, or he could rent a lower-key suit instead. If your husband is in the military, he can wear his uniform. You can also give each other gifts, such as jewelry or cufflinks, to wear on the big day.
Iron out the finer details. Now that you've secured your date, you should let your close friends and family members know when it is before you send out the invites.
Then, you've to plan all of the little things. Get quotes from vendors and start putting down deposits. You may need a caterer, bartender, musicians, a DJ, flower arrangements, decorations, a photographer, favors, a cake and invitations. You'll need an officiant of some sort, but since you are already married, you don't need to find someone legally permitted to perform a wedding. You may choose to have your clergyman do the ceremony, or a close friend or family member. You can even have someone from the original bridal party do it.
If you have grown children, having one of them officiate the wedding can add a nice touch. You can decide whether you want a tiered cake. Some people think this isn't necessary for a renewal of vows, but if you have your heart set on it, don't that stop you.
If you didn't get to have a tiered cake the first time around, that gives you all the more reason to have one now! Though it would be a nice touch to have some of the same things at your renewal as you had in your wedding, such as a similar floral arrangement or having your first dance to the same song, make sure that you find a way to make your renewal different from your ceremony.
After all, you and your spouse are in a different stage of life, and it's important to commemorate that. Part 2. Make a guest list. A big part of deciding if you should write your own vows comes down to timing. The process of writing your own vows should be an emotional and enjoyable experience.
You simply will not be proud of your vows unless you give them the time and energy you deserve to give them and your future spouse deserves to receive. Skip to content Helpful tips. May 5, Joe Ford. This type of service does not need to be officiated by an ordained or legally permitted officiant.
The second is known as convalidation, which is a marriage ceremony that, though not a legal contract, is religiously binding. This takes place after the couple has been legally wed but not married in a religious ceremony.
Convalidation ceremonies must be performed by a member of the clergy if the couple wants it to be recognized by the church. If not, they may enlist the help of a close friend or family member. Greet the congregation. This portion can be similar to the traditional wedding greeting: "We are gathered here today to witness the vow renewal of Sarah and Jacob Dixon.
Provide a brief speech about marriage. This can be a nonspecific speech regarding marriage as a whole or a speech geared toward the couple, including some personal stories about married life from the couple's past. Invite the husband to say his vows to his wife. The beauty of a vow renewal ceremony is that you can structure it an elaborate affair or an intimate ceremony just shared between you and your spouse.
There is no reason why the bride cannot wear a full white wedding gown, and the groom a tuxedo and bow tie if he wishes. In fact, many couples choose to have a lavish celebration because the original wedding was more low key due to financial issues or time constraints. When renewing wedding vows, there is no requirement to obtain an additional marriage license; however, if you are opting for an elaborate ceremony, you are going to have to put in the same amount of planning as you would for any wedding.
Some couples even choose to go on a second honeymoon! Use Easy Weddings to connect with your dream wedding suppliers. Browse the directory and start planning today!
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